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Feet-grabbing angels

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September 28, 2012 by Marcus Speh (Birkenkrahe)

I am sick of my routines. One of the routines I’m sick of is that I get routinely sick of my routines. Tomorrow I’m going to go into work. Several people are going to look at me and I wonder whoever it is they see: I’ve got a preference, I’d like them to see a writer, but if one of the writers I know would ask me if I saw him as a writer, I wouldn’t know what to say except that I might nod in order to please him, or to avoid hurting him. So, who are they going to see when they look at me? Does it matter? Can I change what they see? I’ve always thought that everyone has the power to make other people see. See you as who you really are. But I’m not so sure right now. Not sure at all. This power over others is a rather crude proxy, like comparing your pair of eyes to a pair of spectacles. You don’t see with spectacles per se. In fact, you see less with spectacles. You might be better off not having any. I’m thinking of my 98-year-old aunt, who’s almost completely blind, but really, now she only sees what she wants to see. When someone asks, do you know who I am? She thinks, do I want to see this person? And then, with the perfect innocence of the ancients, she makes her decision. But the other one will never know what goes on behind her eyes: they are silvery and flat like the dried out bed of a desert lake. When I look at my aunt, who usually decides to recognize me, I think that angels grab your feet when you die, so that you don’t just fly off in all directions at once.

An-old-woman-blood

Edward S. Curtis, Old Blood (Wikimedia)


See also: One Week On The Happy Isles, A-Minor Magazine.

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MY FRIEND RUSHDIE

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«At a party, I stood next to a bald guy with a beard who didn’t say anything. I noticed a nearby couple put their heads together and whisper while pointing at me. They were smiling so I went over and inquired if I could help them in any way. “No, not at all,” said the woman, “but listen, isn’t that Sir Salman Rushdie who stood next to you just now? We’re such fans.” The man nodded.»

Excerpt from: My Friend Salman Rushdie, in: Pachydermini Pack 4 (Turtleneck Press); donation dependent download.

IN THOSE DAYS WE


«Tara, I look at us in that photo, taken so many years ago, I look at you sandwiched between Tom and me, with our left arms in casts, so ridiculous, it makes me think of music that is ridiculous also, music by Charles Ives with two bands playing against one another, or two melodies backpacking a third, or an instrument entering a dialog of two other instruments like a dangerous stranger. It makes me think of your musical voice and your rich hair, Tara, I’m thinking of you as my ship begins the landing process.»

Excerpt from: Friends, in: In Those Days We, available online at Issuu. Paperback version to appear.

NEW SUN RISING

New Sun Rising—Stories For Japan
Now at Amazon as paperback and on Kindle. See also goodreads.

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about.me

Marcus Speh

Marcus Speh

(Birkenkrahe) — Storyteller & Professor

I am German writer who lives in Berlin. My short fiction has been published widely. My work has been nominated for a Micro Award, two Pushcart Prizes, two Best of the Net awards and two Million Writers Awards, and a novella of mine was longlisted for the Paris Literary Prize. My short fiction collection "Thank You For Your Sperm" is published in 2013 by MadHat Press. My mosaic novel "Gizella" is forthcoming from Folded Word Press. I have a lush web site at marcusspeh.com (English), I blog on Tumblr und Deutsch auf marcusspeh.de. Join me on Facebook, on Twitter, Pinterest or send me an email.

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